Two Dorks and a Planet
by jokerwho
Summary: The Doctor takes Clara to a planet where the inhabitants are obsessed with pi but things do not go as planned.


**Two Dorks and a Planet**

The Doctor barged into Clara's class one morning, looking frantically at the students before he glanced at his companion. The class was in absolute silence, not a single soul moving as they were stunned at the caretaker, suddenly intruding their lesson.

"Yes, Mr Smith?" Clara said tightly, trying her best not to strangle the Doctor.

"Come with me," he uttered and grabbed her hand before dragging her out of the classroom.

"Where are you taking me, Doctor?!"

"Five quid says they're going to snog…" said one of the students to his friends, watching the caretaker and their teacher disappear down the stairs. "In the shed."

"To the shed, come on, keep up!"

The students murmured when their classmate, Michael proved his guessing right.

The Doctor had decided to make a quick trip through space and time during lunch and when he discovered a specific planet he found interesting, he knew he had to show it to his companion, so he ran back into the TARDIS and returned to Coal Hill an hour after lunch break where Clara was giving a lesson on Shakespeare.

"Doctor!" Clara hissed as they entered the shed and he finally let her hand go. "Would you care to explain why you so suddenly barged into my class just to bring me here?"

He arched a brow, confused at her anger. "Yes. I was visiting several planets on my lunch break when I came across this wonderful planet called Pi."

"Pie?" Clara repeated, baffled.

"No, pi as in the number pi – 3.1415926535897932384-"

"I get it, Doctor. You were talking about pi in the Maths context."

"Good," he then opened the door to the TARDIS. "Come on, what are you waiting for?"

She pursed her lips, eying him. "Doctor, you dragged me out here in the middle of a lesson!"

"So?" he scoffed. "We have a time machine, Clara. We can always get back here in time for you to educate and inspire your students."

He held out his hand for her, a wide grin on his face, excited to go on an adventure with his Clara.

His companion finally gave in as she dropped her frown and beamed at him before placing her hand in his. "Fine, but be sure to send me back here once we've seen enough of Pi."

"Yes, boss," he replied, grasping her hand.

Both entered the TARDIS and the Doctor walked towards the console, entering the coordinates for their destination.

"Clara Oswald," he said, once the TARDIS had landed on Pi. "Welcome to Pi!" he then opened the door to the outside world where they were greeted by the sights of a forest.

"So… what exactly is so special about this planet? It looks a lot like Earth," his companion stated, stepping out into the outdoors, looking around.

"Well," the Doctor began as he shut the door. "It may look a lot like your planet but the architecture and the inhabitants, known as 'Radians' in case you are wondering, are a completely different story."

When the finally reached civilisation after several minutes of walking, Clara finally understood what he was talking about.

Every single building was cylindrical, even the devices used by creatures around them were round. It was as if other shapes didn't exist. Everything from the food to the vehicles were round.

"Wow," she uttered, amazed by the architecture. "You were serious when you said they love pi."

The Doctor said nothing, merely smiling as he glanced at his companion, elated that he managed to impress her in a way. At that very moment, a child's question played in his head.

' _Are you in love with Miss Oswald?'_

He continued to silently observe Clara, the small smile never fading from his lips but it did as soon as she glanced in his direction.

"This is amazing!"

"See, I told you so."

She giggled, eyes wandering around the town centre.

Suddenly, her phone began beeping, puzzling her. "I'm sure I switched off my phone-"

"Clara, no!" the Doctor yelled, trying to prevent her from taking out her smartphone from her pocket but it was too late.

The town centre fell eerily quiet, the creatures surrounding them glaring at the device in Clara's hand. "Doctor, what's going on?" she whispered, hiding her phone away.

As both of them walked backwards slowly, the Doctor said, "The Radians are easily offended if they see anything that isn't round and since your smartphone, which you pulled out is rectangular which is not round, it is considered offensive."

"You, the skinny one and the short one, you are under arrest!" snapped a Radian in a uniform, which indicated he was an authority figure.

"Doctor, what do we do?"

"Run," he whispered, grabbing his companion's hand and dashed in an open pathway.

"The TARDIS is the other way!"

"I'm sorry, Clara, would you like us to turn around and ask them to kindly make way so we can get to the TARDIS?!" the Doctor replied sarcastically, still holding her hand as they ran past people.

He saw a semi-circle door that was half opened and decided it would be best to hide. Once they were inside the room, the door shut, leaving them in total darkness and squeezed against one another in the small space.

"Doctor, what is that smell?" Clara asked, covering her nose with one of her hands. The odour was almost unbearable.

The Doctor, who had his nose covered as well, took out his Sonic sunglasses. "I believe we are in a trash compartment," he explained, voice muffled.

"Marvellous."

"Well, it was your fault for taking out your sma-"

"Shut up."

After a few moments of silence, Clara apologised. "Sorry, I just can't believe how it escalated so quickly."

"Yeah, but I suppose I have to take the blame as well for not telling you about their culture before we left the TARDIS."

An awkward silence surrounded them. Their bodies were still squeezed against one another and the Doctor tried to shift his body slightly so that he was in a more comfortable position rather than having Clara pressed against his chest as it was making him feel strange but not unpleasant.

"What are you doing?"

He cleared his throat, trying not to sound embarrassed. "Moving a bit. It's… you… are you comfortable?"

It finally dawned to her what he was talking about and she wasn't sure if she should laugh or smack him in the head. "Yes, you're warm and soft but you have too many layers of clothing."

"I like how I dress," he defended, staring into her eyes.

Clara arched a brow, a smile playing on her lips despite the situation they were in. "Never said I didn't like how you look, Doctor. It makes you look… you."

Oh great. That wasn't what she wanted to say at all.

The moment, however, was interrupted when a small metal disc opened from above. Both looked up and saw bits of trash falling down before finally, whoever the person was, threw a bin full of seaweed.

Once the disc was shut, the Doctor and Clara stared at each other before both burst into a fit of laughter, despite being covered in trash and seaweed.

"Do you just want to make a run for it?" he asked, once their laughter died down.

"Always ready for an adventure," she replied, grasping his hand, beaming.

He nodded and put his Sonic glasses back on before looking at his companion for confirmation. She nodded and he unlocked the semi-circular door before both of them dashed out, passing behind the party that was searching for them.

"There they are!"

Same old, same old. Just the Doctor and Clara Oswald in another one of their crazy adventures.

Running into the forest, they didn't stop until the reached the TARDIS and quickly ran inside before the Doctor took her back to Coal Hill, or the snog shed (as the students have called it) to be more specific.

Clara, who was still covered with seaweed, burst through the TARDIS doors, giggling. The Doctor followed suit, silently.

"That was fun!"

"Ah, so your definition of fun is being covered in seaweed and chased by offended people," he stated, giving her a playful look.

"Oi, shut it, space man. I can say the same thing to you," she said. "And you still have some seaweed on your head," she tried getting on her toes and removing them but he was far taller than her. "We probably smell too."

"What do you think we should do about it, Clara Oswald?"

"You're the Doctor, Doctor. You tell me."

They stared into each other's eyes, beaming as they face drew closer and closer until their faces were inches apart. Their lips finally met as Clara wrapped her arms around the Doctor's neck, bringing him closer to her.

Eventually, they pulled apart but their bodies still pressed against one another, unable to drop the ridiculous grins on their faces. The Doctor was about to kiss her again when the door to the snog shed burst open and Michael, from Clara's class, stared at them with a smirk.

"Sorry, Miss, but you've been gone for almost an hour and everyone got worried but not to worry, I'll just tell them you've been… busy," he explained, trying to prevent himself from laughing as he shut the door to the snog shed.

"Would you like me to wipe his memory?"

"Doctor!"

"What? I'm being considerate here. Aren't you mad that one of your students saw-"

She cut him off him off by kissing him hard, but he eventually relaxed and gave in.

Her lesson with the Year 10 students could wait.

* * *

This was meant to be posted before my flight but I managed to finish it today. I hope you enjoyed reading the story :)


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